Let’s be clear: this is satire…kind of. You don’t want to make yourself angry. However, most of us do it so naturally it could be an Olympic sport. Consider this a field guide to the habits that reliably send your blood pressure through the roof. These habits are all backed by psychology and neuroscience. If you recognize yourself, congratulations. You’re human. Then, perhaps just maybe consider quitting these habits!

1. Assume Everyone Else Is an Idiot

Nothing fuels rage like believing you’re surrounded by incompetence. Psychologists call this the fundamental attribution error. We blame other people’s behavior on their character, such as thinking “they’re stupid.” We attribute our own behavior to circumstances, like saying “I was busy.” This mental shortcut creates instant irritation and a constant low-grade simmer of contempt.

Bonus points: Narrate their mistakes internally like a sports commentator.

2. Take Everything Personally

Someone didn’t respond to your text? They hate you. They are TRYING to make you mad!
Someone looked tired? They’re clearly don’t care what you have to say.

This is called personalization, a classic cognitive distortion. It’s your brain’s way of making neutral events feel like targeted attacks. Nothing gets you angry faster than believing the world revolves around you in the most negative way possible.

3. Scroll Social Media Until You’re Frothing

Doomscrolling is basically anger cardio. Research indicates that constant exposure to outrage-based content activates the amygdala. This part of your brain is the threat center. It keeps you in a near-constant fight-or-flight response.

To maximize results:
– Read the comments.
– Engage strangers.
– Argue with accounts that have profile photos you don’t like.

4. Rehearse Your Grievances Like a Dramatic Monologue

Rumination (we’ve talked about this before) repeatedly replaying injustices in your head is one of the most reliable ways to maintain anger. It keeps your stress hormones elevated long after the event has passed.

To do this effectively:
– Replay the moment in the shower.
– Write imaginary emails you’ll never send.
– Win fake arguments while driving.

5. Expect Everyone to Think and Act Exactly Like You

Nothing creates rage like rigid expectations. Psychologists refer to this as should thinking. People should be on time. They should say things the “right” way. They should magically know what you need.

Reality stubbornly refuses to cooperate, and there you are… furious.

6. Suppress Your Feelings Like a Champ

Stuff it down. Smile. Say you’re “fine” when you’re definitely not. Emotional suppression doesn’t make feelings disappear. It causes them to leak out sideways as irritability and sarcasm. You might experience random explosions over small things (like how loudly someone is chewing. If you need more info about chewing bothering you check out information about Misophonia).

Your anger will marinate beautifully.

7. Keep Track of Everything That’s “Not Fair”

Life is unfair. People are unfair. Focusing on unfairness triggers your brain’s threat and reward systems. This combination makes your anger feel justified. It can become deliciously addictive. The more you mentally tally injustices, the more furious you’ll become. Spreadsheet optional.

8. Argue With Reality As If It Might Apologize

Traffic? Wrong.
Weather? Offensive.
Other people’s boundaries? Rude.

This is known as low distress tolerance. It’s the inability to sit with discomfort without becoming furious about it. You refuse to accept reality as it is, and instead, rage against it like it personally betrayed you. Spoiler: It doesn’t care.

9. Never Set Boundaries, Then Resent Everyone

Say yes when you mean no. Smile while you’re overwhelmed. Then privately seethe because “no one respects you,” even though you never told them what you needed.

This is a resentment factory. Anger thrives beautifully in unspoken expectations.

10. Make the Story: “This Always Happens to Me”

Turn isolated events into personality-defining tragedies.

One bad interaction becomes:
– “People are awful.”
– “I’m always disrespected.”
– “Nothing ever goes right.”

Psychologically, this is called overgeneralization. It guarantees a steady supply of anger. Now every new annoyance confirms your worldview.

Why This Works (From a Science Point of View)

Anger is physiological. These habits:

• Activate your sympathetic nervous system
• Increase adrenaline and cortisol
• Keep your brain locked in threat mode

A Not-So-Subtle Reminder

If you found this uncomfortably accurate, good news: everything here is reversible. You don’t have to stop getting angry, you just don’t have to practice it like a hobby. This article is meant to bring light to things we do, that we have control over. If you want an idea on an easy way to swap out these behaviors read more here.

References

Rumination, fear, and cortisol: an in vivo study of interpersonal transgressions. PubMed (2006). PubMed

Anger rumination as a risk factor for trait anger and anger-in: A longitudinal study. Personality and Individual Differences (2016). ScienceDirect

Children’s Rumination to Sadness and Anger: Implications for the Development of Depression and Aggression. PubMed (2017). PubMed

The Role of Anger Cognitions and Anger Rumination in Predicting Externalizing and Internalizing Problems in Adolescence. (2024). PubMed

The effects of analytical rumination, reappraisal, and distraction on anger experience. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry (2011). PubMed

The angry brain: neural correlates of anger, angry rumination, and aggressive personality. fMRI evidence of brain regions involved in anger rumination. PubMed+1

Fundamental Attribution Error. Social Psychology definitions and examples. Wikipedia+2Macmillan PDF Viewer+2

Doomscrolling and its psychological/physiological effects. National-Geographic article: “The surprising way doomscrolling rewires your brain.” National Geographic

Mental and Physical Health Effects of Habitual Rumination and Stress in Older Adults. MDPI study on rumination, suppression, depression & health. MDPI

Rumination, distraction and mindful self-focus: effects on mood, dysfunctional attitudes and cortisol stress response. (2009) — on how rumination maintains negative mood in certain individuals. PubMed+1

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