Sometimes at work we can be quick to label things as “problems.”

• The workload is too high.
• Leadership isn’t clear.
• A colleague is difficult.
• The timeline is unrealistic.

Most situations aren’t just problems. They’re a mix of two things:

Constraints and Choices.

• Constraints are what you don’t control
• Choices are what you do

It’s easy to blur the line between them, which can create a lot of frustration.

A Better Question to Ask

Try Asking: “What part of this situation is a constraint and what part is a choice?” Because:

• If it’s within your control → it’s a choice
• If it’s outside your control → it’s a constraint to navigate

When everything feels like a problem, you feel stuck. When you identify a choice, you regain movement.

The Constraint vs. Choice Filter

When something feels off at work, run it through this process:

1. Define the issue clearly. Vague problems create unnecessary stress.
   Instead of “This project is a mess,” try: “The scope keeps changing and I don’t have clear priorities.”
2. Is this within my direct control?
   • Yes → You have a choice to make
   • No → Move to the next question
3. Can I influence it?
   Through a conversation, escalation, or collaboration?
   • Yes → Have I actually tried?
   • No → This is a constraint
4. If it’s a choice, what action am I avoiding?
   • A conversation you don’t want to have
   • A boundary you haven’t set
   • A decision you’ve delayed
   • A behavior you haven’t changed
5. If it’s a constraint, how do I navigate it?
   • Not everything can be changed, it can be:
   • Planned around
   • Mitigated
6. Accepted (strategically, not passively)

Where This Shows Up at Work

“Leadership isn’t communicating clearly.”

• Constraint: You don’t control leadership style
• Choice: You can ask for clarity, summarize decisions, or create structure for your team

“I don’t have enough time.”

• Constraint: Volume of work
• Choice: Prioritization, saying no, renegotiating deadlines, or resetting expectations

“My colleague is difficult.”

• Constraint: Their personality or behavior
• Choice: Address it directly, adjust how you engage, or escalate if needed

“This deadline is unrealistic.”

• Constraint: The timeline itself
• Choice: Raise the risk early, propose alternatives, or document trade-offs

The Pattern to Watch

People often get stuck in one of two places:

1. Treating constraints like choices
   Trying to control things they can’t → leads to frustration and burnout
2. Treating choices like constraints
   Avoiding action by labeling it “out of my control” → leads to stagnation

A More Direct Way to Navigate

When you feel stuck, ask yourself:

• What am I calling a problem that is actually a decision?
• What action am I avoiding?
• What conversation have I not had yet?
• If I had to take one step this week, what would it be?

Identify one piece that’s actually yours to move. There is almost always a choice somewhere in the system. That’s where your leverage is.

Clarity removes the feeling of being stuck.

Quick Worksheet: Constraint or Choice?

Use this the next time something feels frustrating at work:

1. What is the situation?
   (Write it clearly and specifically)
2. What parts are constraints (not in my control)?
3. What parts are choices (within my control)?
4. What can I influence, but haven’t acted on yet?
5. What is one action I can take this week?
   (Be specific and realistic)
6. If nothing changes, what will I choose to do anyway?
   (This is where ownership becomes clear)

Additional Reading:

• Collective Illusions by Todd Rose
• Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us
• The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth
• Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong
• Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong
• The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life
• Leaders Eat Last

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