When “I Shouldn’t Have To…” Is Actually Your Ego Talking

Ego isn’t always out front.
Sometimes it whispers affirmations like “you shouldn’t have to repeat yourself” until we start believing it.

If you’re a parent, you know the scene:

“Put your shoes on.”
“Grab your coat.”
“Do you have your water bottle?”

You walk out of the room.
Come back.
Nothing’s changed, except that the next episode of Bluey is now playing.

By the sixth repeat, your voice snaps:

“I shouldn’t have to say this over and over!”

When I heard myself snap like that, it echoed back at me, I realized what was really hiding underneath it:

A tight grip on my own self-importance.

Yes, kids should listen. Yes, mornings are chaotic, but my frustration wasn’t just about time, it was about my need to feel heard. To be the voice in the room that mattered most.

That’s ego in disguise.

• And the truth is:
• Kids need reminders. (Sometimes adults do too.)
• Life doesn’t always move at the pace we want it to.
• Being “right” isn’t the same as being effective.

So I asked myself:

• Am I treating normal parenting as unreasonable effort?
• Am I making this harder by expecting ease?
• Is my need to feel important drowning out someone else’s needs?

I still remind them to put on their shoes, but I’m practicing something different now:

✅ Shifting tone instead of volume
✅ Reframing repetition as practice, not punishment
✅ Remembering that awareness is where ego begins to loosen its grip

Just like kids need reminders to put on their shoes, teams need reminders about priorities, standards, and behaviors. Repetition is reinforcement. Ego tells us it’s beneath us to repeat. Sometimes, leadership requires us to embrace the repetition.

The simple act of naming what’s happening inside of us is part of the work. Whether it’s asking kids (again) to put on their shoes or reminding a team (again) about the vision, ego wants us to believe repetition means we’re not being heard. Repetition is part of growth. If we reframe it as practice and not being ignored, we become more effective at home. We also become more effective at work.

If you’re navigating moments like this, at home or at work, Rooted and Real offers practical reflection prompts. It provides tools for building that awareness (without the guilt).

Grab your copy here → https://amzn.to/41g2nEn

Check out our channel here → High Growth People – YouTube