What a Walnut Taught Me About Leadership

Working with John was like having a leadership coach and philosopher rolled into one. He asked the type of questions that led you to your own insights.

John joined our company a year into my tenure. His focus was leadership development, soft skills, and team interventions. He brought with him essential skills for the work we were doing. He had a deep love for all things leadership. He also had a willingness to challenge the status quo.

We built annual leadership development plans together. These plans were shaped by strategic goals and engagement surveys. They also considered the needs we saw in our teams. Our plans were grounded by real budget constraints and practical priorities. It was powerful to connect those dots. We saw our efforts reflected in improved scores around coaching, training, and leadership behaviors.

When scores went up, we’d quietly celebrate. It was about knowing, in our bones, that the work was making a difference. I cherish those shared moments of pride in knowing we had moved the needle.

But of course, it wasn’t always easy. John was passionate and sometimes frustrated when leadership training didn’t feel like a priority to others. I remember a particularly tough day when he vented to me after getting some difficult feedback. At one point, he even said, “I’m wondering if I should even be here.”

That was a hard moment. I listened. It wasn’t easy to hear, and I felt the weight of the possibility that we might lose him. I also knew how important it was to give him space to be fully heard. I let myself hear, even though it was uncomfortable.

Later that week, John came back and said:

“You know, it’s like a walnut—you crack the shell and toss it, then you get to the good stuff. That’s what I’m doing with this.”

That was John. Reflective, resilient, always finding meaning and likely borrowing from one of his favorite John Maxwell books or training courses he attended. (Here’s an affiliate link if you’re curious.)

That moment and so many others taught me more about what leadership really is. It’s not just frameworks and training plans. It’s listening. It’s staying present in discomfort. It’s having a space where people can be honest, even raw, and still feel supported.

John passed away a few years ago, but his influence lives on in how I lead and coach today.

What I carry with me:

• Leadership is often quiet, behind-the-scenes work.
• Listening is more powerful than fixing.
• Sometimes the best growth comes after cracking the shell.

Who is someone you’ve worked with who changed how you think about leadership?

Want to learn even more? Try checking out this book by Sir John Whitmore, *“Coaching for Performance Fifth Edition: The Principles and Practice of Coaching and Leadership UPDATED 25TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION”

*Affiliate link